Wednesday, May 21, 2008

I can relate.....

I think it's rather ironic that I came upon this article while trying to do basically what it describes.... must... stay... awake

I really am trying to be constructive with how I spend my time at work... but when there is only so much to do over an 8-hour span, the hours begin to drag. I must admit that when I do have a new project to work on I've become somewhat of a hoard-er. I keep my new little project all to myself. There is a definite art to completing a task in a timely manner, while also being able to "prolong" that task to avoid boredom. (Even this blog post is a product of such finely tuned skills)

It's kind of like eating your Halloween candy when you were little. Sure you could devour all of it within a few hours, but that would leave you feeling sick and without anything to enjoy later. So you sort out your candy into piles, get rid of the gross stuff (peanut butter taffy in the black & orange wrappers) and then graze on the good stuff over the next few days/weeks.

In my case however, the good stuff is all relative and you only have a few hours to graze over it. There's a definite difference between prolonging a task and just flat out procrastinating or slackin off.

My attitude about my job has improved over the last month or so. Part of me wonders if there is some type of "Stockholm Syndrome" associated with the working place. Not that I am trying to make light of the possible results from unthinkable situations, or that I'm saying I'm in an abusive/hostage state. But is it bad to have a sense of "loyalty" to a company only because they've kept the paychecks coming and haven't sent you home with a pink slip?

I really did enjoy my job when we were actually building houses and I hope that once we finally start building again that sense of joy will return, until then.... I'll continue to find amusement in my leisurely internet "reading" and gratitude for employment.

Monday, May 12, 2008

I think it's dark enough

My mom just sent me a copy of Three Cups of Tea, which I have heard great things about. I started reading last night and just before doing my typical "nodding off while reading in bed", I read the introduction and beginning of the first chapter. Just below the chapter heading is a Persian Proverb which reads, "When it is dark enough, you can see the stars".
I stopped for a moment and in my semi-coherent state started to consider the meaning of this proverb. Initially my cynical side slid in and thought, "Well, I don't think I see the "stars" of my life just yet, so it better not mean my life has to any darker." Not that I feel I have a dark life, but more that I feel I'm a little in the dark about where to go with my life or what to do.
And then the more I thought about it I started to consider the fact that maybe I just need to look up. Maybe the stars are there waiting to be seen and I just need to take some action in trying to see them.
So that's what I'm working on at present, trying to figure out what action to take. My goal this week is to send out a few (at least 2-3 resumes) and at least 1 school application. We'll see what stars come from that.